I've previously blogged about my pregnancy, labour, the first 3 months he had colic and reflux, and his first milestones such as teething, sitting, rolling and crawling. At 6 months we moved from London, where I was born and bred and lived my first 30 years! To the lovely kent countryside, best move we ever made. I went back to work, commuting to London, a week after moving when Roo was 7 months. It was pretty tough. Along with the sleepless nights and the job was very pressurised. I decided to look for more local jobs in kent. Although I took a huge paycut, I found a good job locally. This gave me a much better lifestyle balance, less stress. Roo was 14 months and I decided to put him in nursery near my new job. He'd previously been looked after my mum, mother in law & aunt. So it was tough and he cried ALOT! As with most children, his immunity was to build up and he had several months of coughs, colds, conjunctivitis, tonsillitis etc. I had noticed from age 1,that Roo wasn't hitting his milestones as before, and put it down to where he'd been unwell. It doesnt bother me if he is a little slower than others and we shouldn't compare, but my main concern is if there is an underlying issue causing these delays. His balance became wobbly, it's not that he'd shake, but almost wobble and he began falling over a lot when crawling, he'd been crawling since 8 months, so now nearing 18 months I thought it was odd. We took him to the gp, for conjunctivitis, and she checked him over. On listening to his chest she found a heart murmur. I thought it strange that it'd never been noticed before. He had a heart scan Echo and it revealed two small holes in his heart, which should have closed immediately after birth by themselves, but they never. They were tiny and shouldn't cause problems so just need a yearly checkup. The doctor was concerned he wasn't walking at 18 months and referred him for further review. And so here we are aged 2. In the last six months, he had had tests for all sorts, from muscular dystrophy, chromosome abnormalities and metabolic diseases. Thankfully everything has come back normal so far. But yet he still can't walk or stand alone, he can cruise and has just started to use a Zimmer frame type walker. He has hypermobility & hypotonia, low muscle tone, for which his having physio. He now has global development delay and will need speech therapy. He also has a squint in his eye, sometimes his eyes turn in. This week he will have the last diagnostic test to see if there actually is any cause for all of this, it's an MRI brain scan. We've waited months for this and now the week is finally here. I'm a little nervous, my baby has to have under general anaesthetic, with the holes in his heart it isn't as straight forward and seeing him put to sleep will be heartbreaking. I know it is for the best, but I'm also a little worried what the results will show. It's the not knowing that's hardest. Should "something" show up then we will deal with it. And i hope it comes back all clear, but then there will be no more tests and we won't know if there is any cause for his delays, squint & holes. So I try to be courageous, but I am a worrier. Luckily my husband is the ying to my yang and balances me out with his positivity. So the last few years really have been a roller coaster, having a baby, moving county, changing careers and endless hospital appointments! Here's hoping 2015 brings all we wish for.
I adore my son, his beautiful, kind, funny & clever and I love being his mama. But honestly life has its challenges and sometimes it's hard. I always think it could be worse and I know there are others in the world going through a much tougher time.
Hence reinstating my blog, I don't know if anyone will read it, but for me it's good to get my feelings out, vent, share proud moments and hopefully others may share their own experiences too.
I will be blogging more about hypermobility too, and I'm sure the terrible twos and other stuff, But for now tata for now (TTFN) x